The Hotcake Hustle 5K -- Running for Pride

This past Saturday I ran the Hotcake Hustle 5K in Addison, TX.  Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal to me, since this would be my fifth 5K race in the past 4 months, but this was one race I absolutely had to run.  You see, I was running hurt in this race. 

The Wednesday before was rainy and I decided to do a run on the treadmill at the gym I use.  about 20 minutes into my run I felt a sharp pain in my right calf and I tried to run through it for about 30 seconds but had to stop my run.  I think what I had was either a grade I or grade II calf sprain.  Over the next two days I used the RICE method on my leg.  Resting it with no runs or exercising, Icing it every hour on the hour I was awake for 20 minutes at a time, Compressing the leg by wearing a compression bandage on it, and keeping it Elevated as much as I could.  Trust me in that I was getting strange looks at work, wearing an ice pack on my leg outside my pants, but oh, it was so worth, not feeling pain!

 When race day dawned, I dressed and headed over to the race site.  My leg felt pretty good, with no pain or twinges at all.  I did however bring a few things with me, just in case.  Ice packs, another compression bandage, and a pain patch was in a bag waiting for me after the race.  I hope I didn't need it, but I had it there, again, just in case.  The weather was interesting, to say the least.  100 percent humidity and 65 degrees!  I was so glad I didn't wear cold weather gear for this run!  There was rain in the forecast and a cold front was on its way towards us, but fortunately for us, the rain and cold held off until after the race.

Before the race started, I did test my leg.  I did more stretching than I normally do for a race, making sure I targeted the calves.  After I stretched and warmed up, I decided to run about a half mile at various paces to see how my leg would react.  Everything felt good, so I was ready to race.


The crowd in front of me.




Ready to race the Hotcake Hustle!

The crowd behind me -- 2400 strong!



The race got off to a good start and I went into this race with only one goal in mind: to finish it.  Even though this is my fifth race, I have not, and do not want to have a DNF on my record.  I have quit too many things in life and I don't want to start doing so in racing.  So I figured that I would be good with about a 10:30 to 10:45 pace and leave it at that.  I knew in my heart that I would have a slow time.  So how did I start?  I started off with an 8:20 pace, then started slowing down after that.

The course itself was easy enough, pure roadway, though crossing I think 4 railroad tracks, even inset into the road was not fun.  One good slip and there goes an ankle!  There was one bridge we crossed; I don't know the incline but it felt steep to me at the time.  I held up pretty well during the race.  I would start to push myself to go faster and then have to slow down as my right calf reminded me that I was running hurt.  It never really hobbled me, but I was reminded of it, believe me.  About 400 feet from the finish line or so, I was running side by side by this younger, fitter man and we were matching each other step for step.  That's when the competitive side of me took over and I glanced over at him and then back at the finish line and sprinted the remaining 400 or so feet, coming in ahead of him by several feet.  I know he probably didn't care, but for me it was a matter of pride.

My calf let me know about it too. 

Long story short, I am taking the next couple of weeks off from running, to let my calf hopefully heal up fully.  I finished the race with a respectable time, at least for me anyway, and I have the coffee mug given out to the ones that finished out the race.

Here is my unofficial time, as provided by my Nike iPhone app:



Here is the official results:

I'm not sure why there is such a discrepancy between the Nike app average mile pace and the official pace, but hey, with a bum leg, I'll take it.

I'll definitely run this next year, but next year, it'll be the 10K, not the 5K.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the day!

An Update From The Bench

The last couple of weeks have been tough on me.  First the pulled muscle in my Rhomboid muscle area of my back had me out of my lifting routine for a couple of weeks.  That was okay as I could still run.

Then I went to the podiatrist a week ago tomorrow and had both of my big toenails partially removed due to chronic ingrown toenails.  I was told I could start running as soon as I felt like it.  That was before they appeared to become infected.

So I go back to the podiatrist tomorrow and hopefully in the next few days I'll be back to what I was getting good at: becoming healthy.  I miss running and I miss my resistance circuit training.  I'll be back to it soon enough, but soon enough simply can't come quick enough.

Thanks for reading.  Have a great rest of the day.

My Current Perception of Me is a Lie

     My current perception of me is wrong and it is a very hard thing to admit to.  If fact, it has taken my loving wife to bluntly, but lovingly put things into perspective for me on how I perceive myself.  You see, even though I have lost 122 pounds, and more than 12 inches off of my waist, even though I can see bones I have never seen before, like my clavical, ribs, and other things seen that people take for granted, I still see myself most of the time in only one way.  Fat.

     For some people that might seem hard to believe, but it's true.  I look at myself and I see a person who is still heavy, still has fat, and still isn't at a healthy weight.  I am not totally sure why I see myself like this, but it is a hard image to shake.

     From the time I hit puberty until I started losing my weight four months ago, with the exception of a nine month period  in 1999, I have always been fat.  I was well over 400 pounds in high school and most of my adult life I have been well over 350.  I have worn sizes as large as a 58 pant, 5XLT shirt and size 16 tennis shoe and buying clothing for me was another nightmare in itself.  It is never easy being fat.  People look at you in a certain, mocking way, wondering why you don't get off you fat butt and do something about it.  Others look at you in a pitying sort of way, feeling sorry about the poor slob who obviously is lazy and must not do anything at all in life.  And don't even get me started on trying to date or try to have a social life before I met my loving wife and was married!  That was another story altogether.

    Then earlier this year, my wife convinced me that weight loss surgery was something I needed to look at, which I did.  And in June of this year, I had the procedure done.  And I haven't looked back.

     The results are there and mentally I know they are there and show.  People compliment me all the time on my weight loss and how great I look.  People notice me on the street now and smile and say hi.  But still I look in the mirror and all I can see is fat.

     Yes, I no longer wear the size 54 pants I started off in; instead I am in a size 38 now.  My shirt size has gone from a 4XLT to an XL, as have t-shirts and shorts.  Even my shoe size has gone down to a normal width from the extra wide width I had to have.  You can read my blog and see how I am running four to five times a week, sometimes 3.1 miles, sometimes as much as over six miles at a time, without stopping!  I lift weights, I have stamina I didn't know I possessed, but I do not like the way I look.  The reflection I see is still fat.

     My wife feels I am obsessed on numbers.  We have talked about goal weights, and I have actually put my goal weight here on my blog of 180, but secretly, I want to weigh less.  I think I would like to weigh around 160 or so, but is that a healthy weight, or is that the inner fear of my thinking I am still too fat?  Speaking of weight, I have been in a stall now for two weeks, maintaining the same weight over that period of time.  My secret fear?  Never going below it now.  Staying at 248.  Staying fat.

     I know some of you reading this may not understand and that is okay.  Many of you will not.  I'm not even sure if I understand this.  In fact, I know I don't.  I want to be healthy, not only for myself, but for my family.  But the obsession over my weight now is one that I have to tackle.  My wife said it sounded similar to someone dealing with anorexia.  I simply don't know.  But what I do know is that I don't want to ever be where I was when I started this journey.  I don't ever want to be fat again.

     Maybe that is where the fear lies.  Perhaps that is where my wrong perception lies.  My perception is a lie and mentally I know it.  I think I just have to accept it.  Medically I am no longer classified as morbidly obese, but just obese.  In layman's terms, I am no longer grossly fat, I am just fat.  Eventually I will not be classified as obese/fat, as I have 11 BMI points to go before I am medically considered normal.

      In some peoples minds I am already normal.  I just have to believe it myself.

     It's not going to be easy.

Officially on the Loser's Bench Part 2

This is my third day after surgery and my second day at home.  So far it hasn't been too bad for me as I compare my situation with what I know others have gone through.  Mostly I'm going stir crazy to be quite honest.   

I have my own little corner of my bedroom where I sit and sleep in our leather recliner.  The TV is within sight and I have my remote, so mindless entertainment is taken care of.  I have my laptops near me and easily accessible so I can, and have started working from home: answering emails, starting to work on projects that need my attention and the like.

My fill up station with the flowers sent to me by the company I work for.

But it does get tedious.  And boring.  I do not like to be kept in a corner for very long, so I have been walking every hour or so which is nice.

Physically I am doing really well.  I am still at a higher weight than when I went into surgery, but that is not bothering me too much as I know once the gas and fluids they pumped into me go away, the pounds will start to shed.  Trust me when I say I am really looking forward to when I can ride my bike again, or even do my four to five mile walks!  Now that I had just started to become active, I really miss the exercising!

I seem to be more bloated today than I was yesterday.  I was told that is normal and has happened to others after surgery, so I am not worried about that.  I am taking in fluids quite well, perhaps too well.  I have been told that I need to slow down even more and sip more.  To me I am sipping (coming from a gulping perspective) but I am doing my best to follow orders and slow down.  I really think the chewing aspect is going to be harder for me.  This whole slowing down will be a challenge, but one that I have chosen to embrace as a lover for the new physical life I want to share with my God, family and friends.

I do feel that I have been  productive today as I went out to our garden and watered with miracle grow.  No, I did not, nor could I bend down to turn on the water.  That is what my youngest daughter was there for,  to help me turn on and off the water.  I love my Morgan.  She was very concerned that I was overdoing it and wanted to make sure that I wasn't hurting myself or anything.  She's a very compassionate nine year old.  So she made sure the water was on and made sure the hose didn't kink and I had lots of slack.

The one thing that is bugging me is the gas I am experiencing.  That is the one thing I wish would go away more quickly than it currently is.  Somehow the Gas-X strips just don't seem to be doing the job very well.

So there you have it.  I am home, with very manageable pain, to the point that my hydrocodone sits by its lonesome like some forgotten relic of my past in the corner of my little world right now.  The liquid Tylenol has taken a hiatus and is nowhere to be found and although I am not looking for it my wife has left for the store to make sure I have some.  Just in case.

Overall I am in really good shape, as my limited knowledge of recovering from this surgery and my body can tell me.

I'll keep posting my results on this journey.  I hope you enjoy the ride with me.

Have a great rest of the day!

Eric

Officially on the Loser's Bench Part 1.

Tuesday was my surgery date and I'll be honest, I wasn't really nervous at all. I think what I was, was simply ready to get it over with.

Waiting for the IV to be put in.

I checked into the hospital at 6:00 AM and the waiting game began.  About 45 minutes later I was called into the admission area and my hospital bands were placed on my wrist.  Very soon after I was weighed, and placed in my holding area where I was told to get into the hospital gown and yes, wait some more.

My throat was sore and I was very thirsty at this point.  Part of my prep for this surgery is that I could not have anything to eat or drink after 10 PM the prior night.  It would turn out that I would not, could not have anything at all until the following day (Wednesday the 20th of June).  That was not fun, believe me.

Eventually the RN came in and put my IV in my left arm.  After that it was only a matter of minutes.

The IV is in!

Within a few minutes the anesthesiologist arrived and had me start inhaling a gas.  After that I didn't wake up again until I was in my room.

I was operated on at Forrest Park Medical Center in Dallas, TX which has to be one of the nicest facilities I have ever seen.  Every patient has a private room with WiFi, flat screen TV,  and room.  Lots of room actually.  When you called for the nurses for whatever reason, they responded very quickly with whatever you had asked for.

After the surgery, which lasted about an hour, the surgeon, Dr. Nick Nicholson, came out to talk to my wife and one of my fears was relieved quickly.  I was very concerned that my liver would not be up to par for the surgery.  You see, you need as small and healthy a liver you can get to have a good shot at a successful surgery.  I know of some patients who have been in the operating room and had the surgeon call off the surgery because the liver wasn't ready.  So that was a very nice bright spot for me.

Except for the numerous times I was awakened for the various normal functions the nurses had to take care of, I slept.  And slept.  And slept a lot more.  There were times when I thought the nurses were growing concerned over my sleeping all the time.  Oh, and those normal functions I needed to do?  That consisted of having my vitals checked, breathing through an airlife spirometer and walking.  Not to mention having my blood sugar checked due to the steroid shot I received before surgery.

In My room after surgery.  Sleep was my best friend!

The dreaded spirometer!

It took me a while to start drinking liquids again, but when I did I felt like I was in heaven!  Finally cool liquid goodness running down my parched throat!  I just had to do it in sips.  SIPS!  One of the items a newly sleeved patient absolutely has to learn how to do.  If I didn't sip, I had the hiccups.  Trust me in that I learned that lesson very quickly!

A couple of things about my stay and then I'll save the rest for my next post.

The first is that apparently there was a new doctor making rounds at the hospital who had never worked with bariatric patients.  All I can say is thank God I was asleep when he came in.  My wife informed me that he lifted my gown, and started pressing in and poking my stomach!  He actually thought I had just gone through a hernia surgery and my wife had to explain to this young doctor what I had surgery for,  why I had a drain installed, and why I had a pain pump installed.  My wife told me the young doctor was lucky I was asleep and I believe she was right.  I don't think I would have hit him, but I would have told him a few things he would not have wanted to hear!

The other item before I sign off this post was when the nurse took the drain tube out of my body.  My wife said it was an uncomfortable feeling when I asked her about her's being taken out.

She lied.

I have never had such an excruciating pain in my life!  I actually was crying and hyper-ventilating from the pain it was so intense!  I actually asked her, begged her to stop for a couple of minutes just so I could start breathing normally.  It finally came out, but holy cow!  That was actually worse than anything I had ever gone through before.

A little while after that I walked out of the hospital, got into our minivan and watched the world go by as my wife drove us home.

In part two, I will go over how things are going at home for me.

I hope you have a great rest of the day!

Eric